


oblivious idiots in love

by imabitchig



Series: matchmakers [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Bi Peter Parker, Bisexual, F/F, F/M, Female Reader, Gay, Lesbian, Lesbian Michelle Jones, M/M, gay in general, gender neutral reader, i love bb mj, male reader - Freeform, mlm, nonbinary reader, shes a lil ooc but hopefully not too much, thatll be better in part 2, uh yeah i think that abt sums this up tbh, why is there literally no mj/reader fics in this fandom?, wlw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2021-02-18 07:30:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21540673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imabitchig/pseuds/imabitchig
Summary: Peter and Ned liked eachother. That much was clear. The only problem was that they were both the most oblivious dumbasses on earth. Tired of watching the lovebirds pine after eachother, Reader and MJ take it upon themselves to play matchmaker, accidentally falling in love with eachother along the way.
Relationships: Michelle Jones/Reader, Ned Leeds/Peter Parker
Series: matchmakers [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1552393
Comments: 6
Kudos: 33





	oblivious idiots in love

When I looked up from my math homework, Peter was staring at Ned again. 

Of course.

They'd been doing that a lot lately. Half the time Peter was staring at Ned and the other half Ned was staring at Peter. I wasn't really sure when they had grown crushes on eachother, but somewhere along the way it definitely happened.

On one hand, it was absolutely disgusting because I was just trying to live my life in peace, and when they spent the entire time our friend group hung out in lovey-dovey daydreams, I had to pick up the slack to make conversation. On the other hand, it was sickeningly adorable. They were practically perfect for eachother, with their mutual interests, and weirdly deep emotional bonds, and lives that seemed to revolve around eachother. 

Damn, I'm gonna be single for the rest of my life, aren't I?

Huffing, I looked back down at my math, rushingly finishing the last problem so that I could be done with it. I needed to get out of there before the tension drove me insane.

The next time I looked up, I noticed that both Ned and Peter had failed to complete the assignments they were working on, but MJ had already stuffed her history book into her backpack and seemed to be drawing Peter with a love-struck look on his face. 

I should get her to leave with me so that these two nerds will be alone.

"Alright guys, I'm exhausted. I'm gonna head out. MJ, you wanna go? We can ride the subway together since your house is near mine," I suggested.

MJ stood up as she said, "Sure," gathering the rest of her things into her bag.

Peter, noticing the commotion, finally looked up, "You sure you don't want to stay for dinner? May'll probably grab pizza on her way home."

"Nah, I'm not really in the mood for pizza anyways," I replied, throwing on my jacket, and grabbing my backpack.

MJ opened the door, throwing a quick, "See you later losers," over her shoulder.

"Bye guys!" I said, not getting a response, as Peter seemed to finally be doing work, and Ned was practically going cross-eyed from staring at him.

When I closed the door behind me, I let out a breath.

"They're such idiots," commented MJ, leading us down the stairs.

I laughed and nodded, "For sure. I genuinely cannot believe that they haven't noticed they're crushing on eachother yet."

MJ had a barely noticeable smirk on her lips as she said, "It's basically impossible that they wouldn't look up and catch the other staring at least once, and yet, here we are."

"They're the most oblivious people I know," I giggled.

But then, I had an idea.

"Hey, you don't think maybe we should do something about it? I mean at this point, I doubt they'll ever get together on their own."

"They could use a little nudging," she agreed, looking at me with a cute little grin, "You're kind of a genius."

I blushed, jokingly flipping my hair and saying, "I know, I know."

"So how should we go about this? We need a plan," I declared.

MJ thought for a moment, and then said, "I guess we just need to keep coming up with scenarios where we just get them alone together? Maybe we can also talk to them to try and convince them to make a move or something."

"Yeah that sounds good," I replied, jumping over what looking like a smushed sandwich on the sidewalk, "How about we make some group chats? Like one with us and Peter, and one with us and Ned. Then we can be all like 'we know you have a crush, you need to do something about it idiot' to each of them."

MJ nodded, "Alright, yeah. On Friday Peter was talking about going out for ice cream to celebrate finishing the big chem test, we should both cancel so that they'll go together."

"Perfect! Except I kinda want ice cream though," I chuckled.

"Well, how about we go beforehand and get ice cream and then we can stalk them on their 'date'," she suggested, putting air quotes on the word date.

I smiled, "Sounds like a plan!"

-

**group chat- mj, peter, you**

_mj:_

so parker

_peter:_

yeah?

_mj:_

you have a secret

_peter:_

uh?? no i dont??

_you:_

we're not idiots peter

dont lie

_peter:_

im not lying! i really have no clue what youre talking about

_mj:_

alright quit it

we know you like ned

_peter:_

no i dont

_you:_

did you not see me literally just tell you not to lie?

its pretty obvious peter

_peter:_

what do you mean??

_mj:_

well for one, you're constantly staring at him

_you:_

yeah, and you laugh at everything he says like damn hes not that funny

_mj:_

wow tell us how you really feel

_you:_

i didnt mean it like that lmao

_mj:_

also, you literally always sit as close to him as physically possible

_peter:_

oh my god do i have a crush on ned?

_you:_

…

somehow you are even more oblivious than i initially thought

_mj:_

yeah, this has got to be a record or smth

_peter:_

wtf i like ned??

_mj:_

yes, we have clearly said that

_you:_

did you rlly not know

_peter:_

no?? i just rlly liked him,, as a friend?

_mj:_

you are the stupidest person i have ever met

-

**messages- mj > you**

_mj:_

maybe now that he at least know he likes ned he'll do smth abt it

that way we dont have to interfere too much

_you:_

fair enough, yeah

we still on for friday?

_mj:_

of course

-

On Friday, MJ and I had gym together last period, and Coach Rogers was really unobservant, so we decided to sneak out early so that we could make sure we were ahead of Peter and Ned.

The walk over to the ice cream parlor was quiet except for the occasional comment on the weird people we saw on the streets of New York. It was fun, and surprisingly calm in a way.

At least until I tripped over a rock and nearly fell flat on my face.

"OH SHIT!"

MJ lunged out to grab me before I hit the ground, catching hold of my hand and causing me to twist towards her, but still tilt backwards, as if she was dipping me in a dance. 

We both burst out laughing.

Walking inside, we tried to quiet our giggles, mostly failing, but it was alright. I liked her laugh.

After ordering our ice cream, I went to pay, but MJ tugged me backwards, thrusting her card towards the cashier.

"Wha- MJ!"

She grinned back at me, offering, "It was my plan, therefore, I get to pay," as her explanation.

"Bullshit but ok," I responded, grabbing her arm to lead her over to a little booth in the corner. From here we could see all of the other booths, but we were still fairly unnoticeable.

"Here," I said, throwing her a hat and a pair of sunglasses from my backpack.

She chuckled quietly, "So we're going all out then?"

"Of course! Go big or go home or whatever," I said, pulling my hood up over my head.

Glancing out the window behind MJ, I exclaimed, "Here they come!"

They walked through the door only a moment later. Ned ordered a salted caramel pecan cone, and Peter ordered the biggest sundae I had ever seen, before they walked to a table just one down from us.

"What the fuck is that? I didn't know they sold giant sundaes here?" asked MJ.

I laughed quietly, saying, "Neither did I."

Peter and Ned spent a while talking about assignments for different classes, eventually moving on to star wars, and then the avengers, but nothing interesting (like Peter confessing his feelings) ever happened. Guess Peter's a wimp.

MJ and I were mostly silent, trying to hear what the boys were saying, but sometimes we'd get bored and end up chatting about random things. Turned out we actually had a lot in common.

Since MJ and I had never really hung out together alone, it was sort of odd at first, but thankfully we both grew fairly comfortable soon. She was really funny, all snide jokes and dark humor, which had initially been kind of intimidating, but I had quickly learned that she was actually really sweet. I had a really great time.

Peter and Ned left an hour later, not even leaving with eachother, just separating at the door.

"Well that didn't work at all," muttered MJ.

I frowned, "Maybe this will be harder than we thought."

-

**group chat- mj, ned, you**

_you:_

hey ned, i wanted to ask you something

_ned:_

yeah?

_you:_

do you like peter?

_ned:_

of course, hes a great friend

_mj:_

thats not what she meant dumbass

_ned:_

i hate you both

_you:_

nah, you love us rlly

_ned:_

ok fine, yes, i like peter

_you:_

i knew it

_mj:_

why havent you told him?

_ned:_

bc he doesnt like me back

_you:_

??? 

what led you to that conclusion?

_ned:_

hes straight

_mj:_

youre kidding right

_you:_

lmaoo

_ned:_

no?

he pined over liz for ages

and before that he pined over samantha

_you:_

ned, peter is the most obnoxious bi i have ever seen

he cuffs his jeans and rolls up his sleeves

there has never been anyone ever to use finger guns as much as him

_mj:_

he literally ranted about how hot thor is yesterday for a good 10 minutes

_ned:_

that doesnt prove anything

everyone thinks thors hot, regardless of sexuality 

_mj:_

ok fine

can you at least trust me as one of your closest friends when i say that youre a fucking dumbass and peter is 100% bi as fuck

_you:_

im with mj on this one

_ned:_

ok sure, whatever, lets say that he is bi, what makes you think hed like me even then?

_mj:_

youre hopeless

_you:_

just watch him ok? pay attention to the way he acts around you. maybe youll see it then

-

On Sunday, MJ and I met for lunch to try and plan out our next move. 

"Well, if Ned actually looks for it, he's gotta see that Peter likes him, right? He didn't notice before, but now he actually knows to look so he's more likely to see it," I explained, taking a bite of pizza.

MJ nodded, munching on her own slice of pizza, "That's true. Maybe we should give Ned a few days and then get them out alone together again and hope for the best."

"That's probably our best bet. I don't want to overdo it you know?" I said, looking out the window.

"Yeah," she agreed, "Let's plan to all go see a movie. I'll say I'm busy and can't go at the beginning, and then you can cancel last minute and say you're sick. That way, it's less suspicious."

I grinned, "That's perfect. You're so smart."

Maybe I'm wrong, but MJ seemed to get slightly red. Maybe it was just because it was hot in the room.

"Uh, anyways. What did you get on your history test?"

-

On Monday, MJ and I skipped lunch and ate in the library so that Ned and Peter would be alone at our usual table. We'd been spending quite a lot of time together lately, planning out our scheme, and we'd really gotten closer.

On Tuesday, MJ and I went to lunch so that we could make the movie plans. Just as we'd planned, she'd said she had to babysit her neighbor's kids, so she couldn't go, but told us to go on without her.

That night, MJ and I showed up extra early to the theatre to buy tickets (I paid for them, since she bought the ice cream last time), and then snacks (which she paid for because I had gotten the tickets). We chose seats at the very back of the theatre so that they wouldn't notice us.

Then, I texted Peter and Ned that I'd suddenly started puking, and definitely couldn't make it to the movie. At that point, Peter and Ned were already there and had already bought tickets, so they decided to just go see the movie anyways, even though it was a cheesy rom-com that I had picked out.

Unfortunately, Peter and Ned sat closer to the front of the theatre. We could barely see them, let alone hear them.

"This isn't good. How are we supposed to stalk them from here?" I asked.

"Maybe we should just move?" she suggested.

I thought about it for a moment, "Its slightly risky, but if we wait until the movie starts and they dim the lights, then they probably wouldn't be able to tell it was us even if they did see us."

MJ nodded and grinned. She'd been grinning a lot more recently.

"I feel very double-oh-seven, you know? The sneaking around and stalking people is kinda fun," I said, laughing quietly.

She chuckled.

The lights dimmed, and the opening credits started.

"Ok, lets go almighty 007," she joked.

Carefully, we got out of our seats and grabbed our things, sneaking down a few rows until we were just 2 rows behind Peter and Ned. We crouched and squeezed past people to get into some seats closer to them, but unfortunately at the last second I tripped over some old guy's shoe and flew into MJ, knocking us both to the floor, with me on top of her and popcorn stuck in both of our hair. We looked at eachother for a moment and then burst out laughing, covering our mouths to muffle the sound. I swear she makes me even more prone to clumsiness than I already am.

"Sorry!" I whispered, gently pulling myself off of her and looking over the seats to make sure Peter and Ned hadn't been alerted. They hadn't, so I grabbed to hand to help her up.

She smiled and said, "It's alright," reaching out to pick a piece of popcorn out of my hair.

I burst into giggles again, sitting down and putting my face in my knees so that no one would hear.

Other than the occasional 'this is stupid' or 'why are we watching this', Ned and Peter didn't talk much during the movie. MJ and I on the other hand, had a blast, making fun of the characters, and laughing at the stupid unrealistic plot lines.

When the movie ended, Peter and Ned were quick to leave, so MJ and I followed behind them, a good distance away. 

Outside, they said a quick goodbye and went to part ways, when Ned unexpectedly turned around and said, "Hey, Peter?"

I looked at MJ in excitement. Oh my god, it was happening. She smirked back at me and pulled me behind a dumpster to get closer to them. 

"Yeah, Ned?"

Ned faltered for a moment, seemingly arguing with himself in his head, before finally saying, "Nevermind. Have a good night."

Then he turned and walked away. Peter watched him go for a minute, and then he too, walked away.

"Well, fuck," said MJ.

"We're worse at this than we thought," I groaned.

-

"Ok we need to figure this out," I exclaimed, jumping on MJ's bed. She sat on her desk chair, spinning in circles.

"Ned was so close. I really thought he was gonna do it," she said.

I nodded, "I did too. He's practically there already, he just needs some kind of little push."

MJ smirked and said, "Well how's sharing a hotel room for 2 days?"

"Oh my god. The decathlon tournament! Of course! MJ you're a genius!" I shouted, jumping off the bed to drag her out of her chair and then throwing my arms excitedly around her.

She was blushing slightly when I pulled back from the hug, but still smiled and added, "Since I'm team captain Harrington already gave me the hotel room assignments. I can just switch some things around, he won't even notice."

"This is perfect! They'll be completely alone for hours! Plenty of time for Ned to tell Peter he likes him!" I said cheerfully, glad that our plan seemed to finally be coming together.

-

Thankfully, MJ was able to successfully switch people around so that Peter and Ned ended up in a room together, and so did MJ and I. The tournament wasn't until tomorrow, so we had the whole evening to ourselves to do as we pleased. It was perfect.

Just like always, everyone decided to go down to the pool together. Usually that wasn't really mine, or MJ's thing, but we knew that Peter and Ned would be there, and we were hopeful that Peter's six pack would encourage Ned a little bit.

When Peter pulled off his shirt, we watched Ned to see his reaction. Just as we assumed, he was enamoured by the sight. 

I grinned at MJ, "It's all falling into place."

She nodded, smirking back at me, "Let's do it now."

We waited until Peter had gotten in the water, and then we ambushed Ned, pushing him down into a chair so we could talk to him.

"Ned. This is your opportunity," MJ stated.

I continued, "You have to tell Peter you like him."

"What? Why?" he asked confusedly.

"What do you mean why? Have you seen that boy? He is head over heels for you, and you're in exactly the same boat!" I exclaimed.

MJ nodded, "It's time you got your shit together Leeds. You both like eachother, you need to just rip the bandaid off and tell him."

"Tonight is the perfect time!" I announced, "You'll be stuck in a room all alone together for an extended period of time!" 

Ned thought it over, "I don't know-"

"Come on Ned, we all know he likes you. Worst case scenario it gets slightly awkward, but Peter still tells you he likes you back. Best case scenario you get to tap that," MJ says gesturing to Peter in the water in all his muscle-y glory.

Ned flushes a vibrant red, "That's not- MJ!"

We both laughed, getting up to leave him to his thoughts.

"You can do this Ned," I said, giving him one last encouraging grin, "Make sure you text us to tell us how it went!"

-

After that MJ and I decided to ditch the pool party and go up to our room. There was no way Ned was going to confess down there in front of everyone, he would do it when they were alone. And besides, we did everything we could. At this point if they didn't get together, it was on them, not us.

"Do you want to watch more cheesy rom-coms and make fun of them?" I asked MJ, pulling my laptop out of my bag and settling down on my bed.

She grinned, "Is that even a question? What better way is there to pass time before Ned finally grows some balls?"

I laughed, waving her over to sit with me. Choosing a movie, I pulled her close so that we could both see the screen. Her thigh was firmly pressed against mine, and she'd thrown her arm over my shoulders.

It felt safe and warm and like home.

We stayed up a few hours, watching a couple more movies while we waited on a text from Ned, but it never came.

"Do you think he chickened out?" I asked quietly, leaning on MJ, keeping my eyes on the screen.

She sighed, "I hope not. I really thought we had them. I hate being a failure."

I glanced up at her and saw a frown on her face.

"Hey it's alright. Just because we aren't good matchmakers doesn't mean we're bad at everything. You're one of the smartest people I know," I said, hoping to make the frown go away.

She grinned bashfully, reaching down to squeeze my hand.

-

I woke up well rested and warm, with my head on MJ's shoulder and her arms around me.

I looked up at MJ.

Had she always been that pretty? 

Her hair was messy, spread out across the pillow, but somehow it still looked perfect. Her skin looked healthy and smooth, the nicest caramel brown under the sunlight coming from the window. Her lips were pink and soft and plump.

She shuffled, taking a deep breath before opening her eyes and looking down at me.

"Good morning" she mumbled quietly.

I smiled, "Good morning."

She smiled back. She had such a pretty smile. When I glanced back up at her eyes, I noticed they were locked on my lips.

Finally, her eyes met mine and we looked at eachother for a moment. 

And then, we were kissing. 

I don't really know who leaned in first or who kissed who, just that suddenly it was happening and I didn't want it to stop happening.

Eventually we pulled away to take a breath, both grinning.

Guess we weren't as bad at matchmaking as we thought?

**Author's Note:**

> part 2 will hopefully be out soon! its abt what went down in ned and peters hotel room 👀 and how they finally get together!
> 
> pls feel free to leave comments, i always love feeback! thanks for reading!


End file.
